Cooking time: 62 h or more
1. Let black beans soak in salted water for 24 h, or longer if you forget them on the kitchen counter.
2. Get invited for dinner somewhere else, so that you cannot have the beans for dinner. Remove the water and put the beans in the fridge for another 24 h.
3. Intend to boil the beans for 1 h 30 min, but forget them on the stove while you clean the house. Turn off when the kitchen starts smelling like a bonfire.
4. Pour the beans that have not burned to the bottom of the pot into a frying pan.
5. Fry the beans in a lot of oil, garlic, chili and whatever spices you have that can be used to mask the burned taste of the beans.
6. Serve immediately, or save for later. At this stage, anything goes.